Episode 8: Behold, the Ashes of War – S5

March 10, 2026

Rhoze

Abstract

Hopes are crushed and expectations are subverted in this week’s episode of the civ battle royale. Read on!

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The curtains of war draw open once more.
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CBR In-Game Screenshot of The curtains of war draw open once more.

1: The curtains of war draw open once more.

Hello, and welcome to episode 8 of Season 5 of the Civilization Battle Royale X. I’m Rhoze, your narrator this week, and I’ve got a whole six of my children as competitors this time. Some have been doing well, some less so, but I’m sure they’ll be putting on their best show for my narration, right?

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Life, dictated by harsh lines on parchment.

2: Life, dictated by harsh lines on parchment.

The world, mapped for us by Sonicfan. See if you can count all the remaining city spots.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of A lick of flame, a whisper from the divine.

3: A lick of flame, a whisper from the divine.

Orangechrisy brings us another great civball comic. Will Cebu’s newfound taste for blood propel them further this episode?

4: A gilded chime is a balm to the ears of the wanting.

Wow, look at all those Pomo supporters! A huge thanks as always to the regular ko-fi donators.

And! Don’t forget! Go to the ko-fi page NOW to look at the options for ordering your very own CBRX5 stickers or magnets!

CBR In-Game Screenshot of To evaluate all in a fleeting instant.

5: To evaluate all in a fleeting instant.

This week’s spotlight civ is Cebu, who is currently winning due to owning two original capitals.

Surely the power rankers have placed them in first to reflect this.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of From the shrouded north, a bellicose cry.

6: From the shrouded north, a bellicose cry.

YEAAAHHHH that’s what I’m talking about! Screw the haters! Screw the rankers! Screw the people who labelled them Nenets 2 after 1 episode! Bjarmaland captures Vassa, proving itself after the blunder of an attack against Estonia several centuries ago. They also settle Wegestaf, advancing their control west. Now, Kalmar does have a half-health trireme that may be able to sneak a recapture in, but that’s the only melee unit in sight, so from this angle, Vassa seems likely to stay purple at the end of this war.

On the side, a Scottish settler approaches the snowy cap of Norway.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of The ruler of all sets foot upon the dusty stage.

7: The ruler of all sets foot upon the dusty stage.

Famed Gothic leader Alaric takes a break from relaxing on the sub after X1 and joins Amina’s army as a general. He immediately advises her to declare war on Ma’in, thinking that this will intimidate the invading Aures. Ever the strategist, that Alaric. In celebration, Kushaka is settled in an eminently defensive position.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Beset on all sides, she takes one last look at the ocean.

8: Beset on all sides, she takes one last look at the ocean.

The vice Kolonga Mazula has found himself in squeezes ever tighter. Mbewe shows little sign it could ever have been controlled by Maravi, and the lone Admiral defending Mankhamba is staring down a huge Ethiopian force, and significant forays from Luba and the Seychelles besides. It seems certain Mankhamba will fall, the only question being who to.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Hooves ring out like clear thunder.

9: Hooves ring out like clear thunder.

In a very interesting turn of events, a mass of Green Ukraine units descends upon Tang’s newly settled and lightly defended northern border. Will Yurii Hlushko defy his reputation for underperformance, or will the slippery Taizong wriggle his way into yet more free cities?

Along the top of the map, all the local civilizations have settlers roaming around the slowly evaporating free space. And Pegu of course.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of A crown forged of golden sand and crimson blood.

10: A crown forged of golden sand and crimson blood.

Commemorating his creeping plague of control over Australia, John Macarthur officially takes office as king. The taste of power is addicting.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of The human embodiment of the grand edifice.

11: The human embodiment of the grand edifice.

Wallachia enlists Xu Da, a major general in the overthrow of the Yuan dynasty and establishment of the Ming, known as “the Great Wall” for the Ming. Unfortunately when the wall is made of soldiers, they do still need gold to maintain them.

Also a lone Bireme flips Baalbek back to Phoenician control. It won’t last.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of What sound is made by the shattering of a dream?

12: What sound is made by the shattering of a dream?

Sho Shin, desperately fleeing the island home he nurtured from nothing, hears that Naha has also fallen, Tang’s soldiers running rampant through the burning city. Arriving in Nanzan, the situation is also grim, a defiant contingent of archers staying in the city while the local general and fleeing populace have already evacuated to Taiwan. Knowing these could be his last moments on the cylinder, he sets off again from Nanzan.

A look at the turn order tells us that Lanfang has a chance to snipe Nanzan before Tang’s turn.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Sliver of life, bridge between the twin seas.

13: Sliver of life, bridge between the twin seas.

Davi Kopenawa has surrounded Cholula with units, and defended only with triremes, the panama canal seems likely to fall. There’s another Yanomami front at the lower right of this image, but I’m sure they’ll be fine.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of A name without a people.

14: A name without a people.

Fuck my stupid tungus life. Said half-health trireme does get to sneak in, and Hárekr’s units have evaporated too on the counterattack.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Vats of dye, stained and stolen.

15: Vats of dye, stained and stolen.

Yep. There’s no way this becomes Phoenician again unless the pope has a heart attack from all the cheese he’s inhaling.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of It is a hard thing to let go of, the sin of sloth.

16: It is a hard thing to let go of, the sin of sloth.

The Umhaill navy spreads itself along the Iberian coast, trying to eke out a foothold, while the French ooze in through Amiens. Porto, trapped from both sides, seems likely to fall to either the hammer or the anvil.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of The hungry rivers demand more.

17: The hungry rivers demand more.

Fresh off the thrill of taking Kanjak Sangir, Ioann decides to use the army still amassed there to make an attempt on another former Kipchak city, declaring war on the new owners of Sarai before the city has even healed up. From this scene, his chances look good, but the AI has been known to bungle better odds.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of The cowed tiger licks its wounds.

18: The cowed tiger licks its wounds.

Yunnan’s citizens have decided that warlord Long Yun isn’t doing a very good job, and the civilization is now a republic. Maybe they can democratically join in the attacks on Tang and try to retake Zhaotong.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Ice-blue stretches the vast sea.

19: Ice-blue stretches the vast sea.

Scotland settles an island that I’m guessing is representing some of the Shetlands, in addition to the previous claiming of the Faroes. Kalmar also has an embarked settler, potentially joining in the scramble for the north Atlantic.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Every last opportunity.

20: Every last opportunity.

Knowing he can’t make any further progress on Ryukyu, Humabon next leverages his army against Yunnan. Kaiyuan is surrounded and will fall with some luck, but any further progress will be difficult.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Tragedy of the maiden of the southern forest.

21: Tragedy of the maiden of the southern forest.

Lanfang’s turn passes, putting Nanzan in the full black but failing to capture. The city, and elimination, will be Tang’s.

The onlooking general is revealed to be Yuenü, or the Lady of Yue, legendary swordswoman of Yuyue. Author of the earliest known work on swordplay, she is said to have mastered the weapon in obscurity before being recognized and put in charge of training the kingdom’s army.

Just like real life, her nation is being annihilated and subsumed by China. I’m sure she’s having a great time on the cylinder.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Those who desire the threefold flame.

22: Those who desire the threefold flame.

A sudden coalition breaks out against the Anishinaabe. They aren’t in as much trouble as it might look like though, as neither the Pomo nor Tlingit appear to have readied any units for an invasion. Notably not joining in the coalition is the Ponca. This is the perfect chance for White Eagle, he really should jump in.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Across the great river.

23: Across the great river.

Panning over to the Susquehannock front of the invasion, Old Sheehays doesn’t seem to have been prepared either. He has a large army, but it’s going to take several turns to begin putting pressure on Tangouaen.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Reaching out to touch divinity.

24: Reaching out to touch divinity.

The Ket become a theocracy. Perhaps this will help them spread their powerful religion. Or perhaps it won’t, I don’t know RtP.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Holding up the sky.

25: Holding up the sky.

Cholula indeed falls to the Yanomami, and in celebration Davi Kopenawa declares himself Prince. However, with a better look at Xavante’s invasion things look dicey - the new prince should try to make peace as soon as he can. Teotihuacan also has a few triremes poised to turn Cholula into a flipfest.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Dancing in a perfect circle.

26: Dancing in a perfect circle.

Kaiyuan falls into the yellow, but the invasion force seems like it might be getting a tad distracted. We also see that Tang also failed to take Nanzan last turn. Maybe everyone is just trying to avoid the elimination penalty.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Weathering the storm.

27: Weathering the storm.

Since we last saw it, Mankhamba has taken a bit of damage, but all the aggressors have neglected to refill their attacking units, while Kolonga Mazula has managed to get some horsemen up. It may not fall to conquest, though I’d say it’s probable he gives it away for peace if it doesn’t.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Building up the alpine giant.

28: Building up the alpine giant.

Circassia also becomes theocratic. They’ve really filled out nicely from their stuttered beginning. Sadly, the attack on Phoenicia seems to be faltering, units split between too many cities.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Convergence of malice.

29: Convergence of malice.

Waqah’il Sadiq makes peace with Dihya, giving us an excuse to look at his beleaguered civilization. Unless something miraculous happens, they seem set to lose Nashan as well soon.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of The precious fortress, at the seat of the world.

30: The precious fortress, at the seat of the world.

If Morenga put in a bit of effort, he could clean this area up, seeing as all three of Maravi cities down here are practically undefended. For some unfathomable reason, he’s sending his entire army at the only city with a garrison, and the one with more than twice the defense of the others.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Overlooking the sapphire lake.

31: Overlooking the sapphire lake.

Multiple civs lay claim to the Qinghai plateau. A wandering Qara-Khitai settler looks like it might cut Mysore’s colony off from Channapatna, if the natural border expansion of Yutian and Mymensingh doesn’t do it first.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Surging forth, on the reverse side of the world.

32: Surging forth, on the reverse side of the world.

Yurii’s units swarm westward at both his foes, damaging Ulansuhai Nur and surrounding Tongchuan.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of For every land a child, and every child a home.

33: For every land a child, and every child a home.

Harchin settles Yankemosir and has another on the way to Aynumosir. It’s what he needs to do, but that’s a very scary army amassing in Hiroshima again. Green Ukraine has also settled in the area, so Hiroshima is looking very isolated. Hideyoshi probably needs to use that army as soon as possible.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of :(

34: :(

I hate it here.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Lords of the reflected domains.

35: Lords of the reflected domains.

Teotihuacan’s turn passes without retaking Cholula, but with the city surrounded on all naval sides. Yanomami will need to really leverage those archers properly to keep it.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Stained eternal with decimation.

36: Stained eternal with decimation.

Panning over to the realm of the shrimp eaters, they continue building up their forces by recruiting Arminius. Famed still for his embarrassment of the Romans at Teutoburg, he will find the tree cover of South America familiar, if not the heat.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Peaks adorned with midnight.

37: Peaks adorned with midnight.

A pair of far-flung war declarations provide an excuse to look at Qara-Khitai. Newly settled Khujand projects power north, and a couple more settlers seek to find their place in the dwindling space nearby. A solid army waits fortified. It would see better use attacking the Mysorean colony, or even the Kipchaks again.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Once again does water wash down upon the horde.

38: Once again does water wash down upon the horde.

Sarai takes damage under the Vyatchan assault, but Bactria is sending many reinforcements. Ioann will need to commit more than just a raiding party if he hopes to bring his civilization southward.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of As the wyvern roars does the cornered beast lash out.

39: As the wyvern roars does the cornered beast lash out.

Taking advantage of the Bactrian distraction, Gelonus is taking another stab at Vyatka. Scythia’s army isn’t looking too thick, but it’s certainly more threatening than what Vyatka has up here. Ioann will really need to leverage those infoaddict stats to come out unscathed.

Hárekr also joins in for the hell of it.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of A chill wind blows over an empty realm.

40: A chill wind blows over an empty realm.

Panning up to the new Vyatka-Bjarmaland “front”, you wouldn’t even know there’s a war on. Clearly my civs are colluding, and just throwing out a war dec to keep up appearances.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Revolution is not quiet or optional.

41: Revolution is not quiet or optional.

The anvil wins out, and Porto falls to France. Joao still has a few melee units right there, so there’s a chance, at least, at a flip or two. On the other side of Iberia, Aveiro languishes in the black, though what units have been damaging it I couldn’t tell you.

Grace’s strategy appears to be to mill around near Lisbon doing nothing. How nice of her to distract Joao and let Robespierre have all the cities.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Verdant tide washing over the steppe.

42: Verdant tide washing over the steppe.

Yurii Hlushko makes peace with Yujiulü Mugulü to focus on the invasion of Tang. Tongchuan is still surrounded, but Tang reinforcements are starting to trickle into Kaifeng.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of The central bounty runs dry, stoking desperation in wayward hearts.

43: The central bounty runs dry, stoking desperation in wayward hearts.

Huh. Mysore attacks Qara-Khitai, stealing the settler that was set to cut them off. I can’t see this working out for Tipu Sultan, however, as he only has a spearman and a catapult to defend against Yelu Dashi’s core army. If Salem doesn’t fall something will have gone horribly wrong.

Also Pakistan declares war on Tang, all the cool kids are doing it.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of A whirlwind of despair, the cycle of taking.

44: A whirlwind of despair, the cycle of taking.

Ma’in manages to secure peace with Phoenicia without giving up even more cities - just in time for the Sumerian army to storm into Nashan. Qarnawu and Inabba are so defensive that they probably won’t be conquered by a land army though.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of The end of the beginning.

45: The end of the beginning.

Seeing the writing on the wall, Sho Shin quickly grabs all the supplies needed to found a new city and sets off to sea again. Just as the burning city begins to fade from the horizon, he sees the flag of Tang raised over the rubble. There is no longer any home for the Ryukyuan people. On his way to Taiwan to meet up with his vestigial army, he is greeted instead by a hail of arrows. The settlers and supplies sink to the bottom of the cold ocean, never to be seen again, as does Sho Shin’s grieving body. The light fades.

And then he wakes up again. Standing up from a cold surface, surrounded by six other gently beeping caskets, he finds himself alone. Weary footsteps echo along an empty steel corridor. Wherever he finds himself, this alien metal tomb, there is no other sign of life to be seen. Seams that might be doors lie sealed, guiding Shin’s route to a room full of sixty-three subtly disordered chairs. He sits on one, seemingly at random, waiting.

A screen, formerly unseen in the gloom, lights up and displays a single sentence. “Continue watching?”

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Trapped in a samsara of massacre.

46: Trapped in a samsara of massacre.

Spearthrower Owl’s fleet returns Cholula to its founder’s grasp. The Yanomami spearmen have retreated for some reason, so it’s possible the city stays Teotihuacano.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Searching for the far side of the polar fog.

47: Searching for the far side of the polar fog.

Grace’s expeditioning settler bypasses Greenland entirely, heading perhaps for Baffin or Labrador. The local Anishinaabe have another settler here too, but it is still one of the most open areas still on the map.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of To stretch a moment into an eon by force.

48: To stretch a moment into an eon by force.

The three forces converging on Mankhamba still haven’t given up, but Maravi has managed to bring up yet more reinforcements. In charge of the Seychellois naval force is Gaius Duillius, a consul who won Rome’s first ever victory at sea, during the first Punic War. He must be feeling a bit perturbed that his erstwhile ally of Ethiopia has abandoned the land route to embark all their units in his way.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Like an arrow through the stifling sky.

49: Like an arrow through the stifling sky.

Dihya is putting pressure on Kajuru, and Amina has also embarked several of her units for some mysterious reason.

Many settlers roam the sahara, searching for the few remaining available spots.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Fed with blood, sealed with fire, imbued with perfection.

50: Fed with blood, sealed with fire, imbued with perfection.

Recognising she won’t get anywhere with Lisbon, Grace makes peace and starts looking for somewhere to park her fleet.

One of the architects of the French invasion is revealed to be Yamagata Masakage, a samurai known for his service of Takeda Shingen.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Preaching to the empty sea.

51: Preaching to the empty sea.

Remember civs, this is what it looks like if you refuse to settle your voronoi! Don’t be like Hotu Matu’a!

Rapa Nui appears to be focusing on religion, though they have even less religious units than Caral in this scene alone.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of The fourth corner of paradise.

52: The fourth corner of paradise.

Up in the north Pacific, Pomo appears to be on its way to lay claim to Hawai’i.

Huh, the community tile map shows Hawai’i isolated by ocean until astronomy, which clearly isn’t the case. Mappers!

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Bathed in the glorious glamour of victory.

53: Bathed in the glorious glamour of victory.

Kaiyuan indeed falls to Humabon. Qujing is a much harder nut to crack, but what the hell Cebu’s on a roll, go for it!

CBR In-Game Screenshot of A madman with a rocket.

54: A madman with a rocket.

In one of the most deranged moves of the episode, Tipu Sultan decides that Salem and Karwar aren’t in enough danger from just Qara-Khitai, and declares war on Tang as well. Reminder that Mysore is the aggressor in both of these! The only saving grace might be that Taizong is clearly just as caught off guard as the rest of us, and has no units on this side of his empire.

Also Shin Sawbu smells blood in the water and decides it’s time for another try at Yunnan.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Bleary eyes behold the unchanging view.

55: Bleary eyes behold the unchanging view.

I’d be hard pressed to tell you what of import has changed in this slide since we saw it two turns ago. In service of Maravi, Phil H. Bucklew, a former american footballer turned navy “special warfare” pioneer. Unfortunately, so focused on special warfare, he forgot about basic warfare, and didn’t bring any ships with him. Oops.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of In view of a desired end, claw onward.

56: In view of a desired end, claw onward.

While we’re in the area, we take a look at how the Seychelles are developing. Another settler looks to fill out Madagascar, joining a new claim to Réunion.

Sidenote, why does Réunion get to be 2 tiles while Mauritius is only 1? This won’t stand.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of An explosion of drawn breath and tensed sinew.

57: An explosion of drawn breath and tensed sinew.

The vanguard of Scythian horsemen spread through the Vyatchan plains. Nikulitsyn and Dymkovo seem to be in the most danger, but are also the easiest to reinforce with the units at Kanjak Sangir. The horsemen will mow through the bowmen favoured by Vyatka, but will struggle to take cities. This really could go either way.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Drums beat in time to the heart of discovery.

58: Drums beat in time to the heart of discovery.

Rouran settles further north with Huaiyu, but the far-flung Pegu settler is still on its journey. Watch it go all this way for an empty snow city.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Rich with the unclaimed bounty of the boundless horizon.

59: Rich with the unclaimed bounty of the boundless horizon.

Noticing a dark-blue-on-light-blue scout in his borders, Olgit declares he has had enough! Quickly penning a declaration on Estonia, he is soon confused when he still can’t attack this damn scout (I believe it is a Wassoulou unit).

Bunuba completes Shwedagon Paya, a Medieval era wonder that provides a ridiculous amount of science. Maybe they can tech up and take their revenge on the colonists?

CBR In-Game Screenshot of The spoils of the victor smell sickly sweet.

60: The spoils of the victor smell sickly sweet.

John Macarthur settles Ross onnnn Christmas Island, by the looks. Probably isn’t called that on the cylinder. Something more relevant to Ngarranggarni.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Gilded knowledge, like a gift from the dawn of time.

61: Gilded knowledge, like a gift from the dawn of time.

Oh, hey.Bunuba completes Shwedagon Paya, a Medieval era wonder that provides a ridiculous amount of science. Maybe they can tech up and take their revenge on the colonists?

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Anything, everything to turn the tables.

62: Anything, everything to turn the tables.

Not only have the Tlingit not manifested an attack, Shgagwei is surrounded and could be in danger of falling! Or, well, it could if Pontiac brought any melee units.

Ponca decides that they’re the Anishinaabe’s best friends.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of O, they who stake it all for honour.

63: O, they who stake it all for honour.

Ismail Berzeg defies my words, waltzing into Byblos! The Phoenician army is practically nonexistent - can Circassia push further?

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Something like the elimination of friction.

64: Something like the elimination of friction.

The Aures settle Ad Medias on the western edge of the desert. There is still a spot for Wassoulou that would see Odienné connected and Ad Medias cut off, but they seem reluctant to use any of the three settlers wandering around up there.

Dihya’s assault on Kajuru is also floundering.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of At the end of the world, who can hear thy prayers?

65: At the end of the world, who can hear thy prayers?

Locked in this vast metal cage, Sho Shin watches as on the strange screen the maiden of Yue and a nameless archer support a nameless spearman. Taizong’s claim is routed, and, alone in a room with 62 empty chairs, he watches the banner of Nanzan unceremoniously turn purple.

“They’re still fighting!”

Somehow, he stands. “I have to join them. Let me in!”

Nothing happens.

“Can you hear me? Whoever brought me here! Let me in!”

Nothing happens.

So, like a man possessed, he runs with the only thought he has left in his mind.

Through the winding corridors, past the sealed doors, until once again he sees seven strange caskets, gently beeping. One has a lid open.

Resolute, he steps inside.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Race towards the daylight.

66: Race towards the daylight.

Pakistan sneaks behind Mysore to settle the Maldives. Two more settlers trail behind, though they won’t find any more spots here. I believe Pegu’s settle on the Andamans is also new.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Needless desire, eschew it all.

67: Needless desire, eschew it all.

Seeing Davi Kopenawa crown himself prince in the middle of their war, Apoena decides to do the same. Now if only he could imitate the ability to capture cities.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of A blind gamble, a lost jackpot.

68: A blind gamble, a lost jackpot.

Pontiac settles Mooniyaang on the north coast, unaware that a fleet of Susquehanna triremes is making its way towards Hudson Bay. The new city is looking mighty defenseless.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of A tyrant and a lord of demons bleed all the same.

69: A tyrant and a lord of demons bleed all the same.

A French horseman thunders through the Pyrenees and into Aveiro. Joao’s hopes of success are drying up, but at least he’s following somewhat in Maria’s footsteps.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Infectious hysteria.

70: Infectious hysteria.

Yeah, Salem is doomed. The distraction has also let Togortak settle Suun up against the Qara-Khitai borders.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Resurrection.

71: Resurrection.

When he opens his eyes, Sho Shin sees not the dark steel of that strange realm, but instead the burning fires of a strained Nanzan. He keeps running, up until he sees the nearest Tang general. Bedraggled, soaked, and exhausted, he faces the invaders with the banner of Ryukyu flying from Nanzan behind him. Maybe it’s his diplomatic wit, maybe it’s his threatening demeanour, or maybe it’s those eyes that can’t forget the sight of something beyond the cylinder, but the peace treaty is signed.

In stunned silence, Sho Shin walks into what’s left of Nanzan - what’s left of Ryukyu - and seats himself on a fallen pillar. This is it. One last chance. No regrets.

In a quiet, lonely room filled with sixty-three chairs laid out in subtle disarray, a gently lit screen blinks off.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Maniacal dance on stone ashes.

72: Maniacal dance on stone ashes.

Many of Vyatka’s cities are taking damage, though Ateas seems to have given up on the south, surrounding Slobodskoy instead.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of The regal stag passes unimpeded through the sea of grass.

73: The regal stag passes unimpeded through the sea of grass.

His showing has somehow intimidated Margarethe into giving away Bergen in an irrelevant war. So she’ll give up that for literally nothing, but won’t give Vassa to the player who has actually conquered it before?? What is this AI man.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of The same image shows itself, unbidden.

74: The same image shows itself, unbidden.

France-Albert René and Jacob Morenga give up on the Maravi coalition. Incredibly disappointed in Herero here. The whole south coast could have been theirs. Build up and try again.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Nape of the neck of the world.

75: Nape of the neck of the world.

Cholula goes back to the Yanomami. But that’s a lot of triremes still. Feels like a coinflip as to who it’s going to end up with at this point.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Beneath a frozen waterfall, majesty of the north.

76: Beneath a frozen waterfall, majesty of the north.

Scotland lays claim to Iceland. That Kalmar settler has turned around too, so the north Atlantic is looking decidedly like it’s going to be Mary’s.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Tracker of the foul, bane of heretical magic.

77: Tracker of the foul, bane of heretical magic.

They’ve been around for a while, and their effect described before, but here’s a close-up on the unique Bjarmian Ashen Slayer.

As the mod’s author, the unit is inspired by a passage in Olafs saga helga, where the invading vikings use a magic powder to hide their tracks from the Bjarmians they have just raided and looted. The Bjarmian archers seem mostly unaffected, trailing the magicians to the ocean anyway and pelting their ships with arrows.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Twixt the sea of green a crimson spire has taken root.

78: Twixt the sea of green a crimson spire has taken root.

Pakistan and Bangladesh grow tired of shouting insults at each other over the dividing wall of Mysore and make peace.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Closing the gaps.

79: Closing the gaps.

With the immediate existential threat out of the way, Sho Shin turns his attention to a slightly lesser one, and also makes peace with Lanfang. We can also observe that Cebu has made peace with Yunnan, keeping Kaiyuan.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Realm of the true humans.

80: Realm of the true humans.

Harchin indeed settles Malka where it looked like it would be.

If ANY of you jokesters in the comments make any observations about whether or not Malka might or might not be on a river, I WILL find you.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of The threeway turnabout.

81: The threeway turnabout.

For a tripartite coalition against him, it looks awfully like Pontiac is winning. Shgagwei is down to the red, but the closest melee units are some warriors by the capital. Pomo’s Kadi’u is also under attack.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Spiralling down the worn-out mountain.

82: Spiralling down the worn-out mountain.

Tired of the flipping back and forth, both Caral and Xaragua join in the war on Teotihuacan. I’m not sure how much of a force Caral will commit, but Uaxactun is looking nice and vulnerable to the flotilla of triremes Xaragua has been preparing. Maybe Anacaona will finally do something?

CBR In-Game Screenshot of An inevitably terrifying direction, and accelerating magnitude.

83: An inevitably terrifying direction, and accelerating magnitude.

Oh dear. Left alone in the war against Yunnan, Shin Sawbu suddenly finds herself at war with all of her neighbours. The new Andamanese settles seem vulnerable from both sides, and Lanfang can probably make moves on Muttama too.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Home of the great unclimbable edifice.

84: Home of the great unclimbable edifice.

The vice on Mankhamba finally breaks through, a Luba horseman claiming the sweet prize of Kilimanjaro for Illunga Sungu. The Maravi defenders have been routed, unless one of those near-death triremes can flip it back.

Units from both Luba and Ethiopia are advancing on Kolonga Mazula’s capital, but the terrain is so defensive I can’t see them getting far.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Irrepressible dignity.

85: Irrepressible dignity.

Y’know I hadn’t thought about it but I guess merchant is the best class for Schindler. France-Albert René looks to fill out the centre of his empire by settling on Farquhar, that looks like.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of A rainbow reflected in the great clear sea.

86: A rainbow reflected in the great clear sea.

Mysore plops a city onto Nias, as if the region wasn’t messy enough. Lanfang’s units all seem to be funnelling north for the assault on Pegu.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Pulsing down the rapids, the heart of plunder.

87: Pulsing down the rapids, the heart of plunder.

Nikulitsyn falls. Dymkovo is cut off. Bjarmaland has even shipped over some units and is damaging Shabalinskoe.

My civs are having a right mare today; why did I take this episode lmao.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of If the world.

88: If the world.

One of those nearly-dead triremes does make a last ditch recapture of Mankhamba. Kolonga Mazula has a narrow window to peace out and keep the city, or this is just a chance for Ethiopia to take it instead.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Sometimes the surest gamble takes the greatest loss.

89: Sometimes the surest gamble takes the greatest loss.

Oh, well done Pontiac! In nice prioritisation, a trireme has made its way to the battered Shgagwei and captured it.

A glance at the minimap also reveals that Grace’s settler has ended its wandering in Labrador, right between Mooniyaang and Gistswiahna.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of A beast still needs to eat.

90: A beast still needs to eat.

Joining the Circassian army as it floods towards Tyre is Quintus Fabius Maximus Verrucosus, who could really drop some of those names. He became known as “cunctator” - “the delayer” - for his tactics in fighting off Hannibal.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Suddenly realised, the present arrives.

91: Suddenly realised, the present arrives.

The Bjarmy army is on its way over and Shabalinskoe is falling fast. Vyatka just doesn’t have enough units to defend against every front.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of The wrong side of the mirror.

92: The wrong side of the mirror.

Back to Luba.

There is one more Maravi trireme with literally one health, but surely it can’t happen again, right?

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Night falls upon the isolated sands.

93: Night falls upon the isolated sands.

Salem inevitably falls. The only question is whether Yelu Dashi can penetrate the mountainous terrain of Karwar.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Thus comes the reversal of the legend.

94: Thus comes the reversal of the legend.

Hideyoshi plops down Najima on the end of Shandong. Or Santo now I suppose. Up at the top, Green Ukraine has like two rings of Tongchuan surrounded. Take the damn city!

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Watching and waiting.

95: Watching and waiting.

Pegu settles Rew and it immediately gets swarmed by Bangladeshi triremes. It’s only a turn into the anti-Pegu coalition but honestly things don’t look terrible yet at least.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Beyond memory, beyond the land, there is yet the count.

96: Beyond memory, beyond the land, there is yet the count.

Teotihuacan is at least not beset in the north, letting it settle K’ Naahb’ Nal.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Crowned with the knowledge of what must come.

97: Crowned with the knowledge of what must come.

Jandamarra joins many other leaders in declaring himself a prince. With the whole civ in shot, it doesn’t look terrible, even after losing Jijidu. Tech up and take it back!

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Roaming down the eternal river.

98: Roaming down the eternal river.

The Hyksos decide that they’re now a nomadic horde. They don’t seem to be doing much nomad-ing but do have plenty of horses at least. They should use them for something - perhaps participate in the downfall of Phoenicia?

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Concentricity leads the way to the path beyond.

99: Concentricity leads the way to the path beyond.

As you may have noticed over the last couple of scenes, Felipe Camarao has decided to have another crack at the Xavante. You’d think the war with Yanomami would have worn down Apoena’s forces, but, uh, it doesn’t really seem so. Maybe the shrimp eaters can get somewhere regardless.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Snatching inspiration in the ecstasy of victory.

100: Snatching inspiration in the ecstasy of victory.

A few have been cropping up over the episode, but it’s time for a closeup on the Japanese Ashigaru, a unique pikeman. It lacks anti-mounted capabilities, which may prove inconvenient against Green Ukraine and Tang, but is otherwise both cheaper and much stronger in groups, also featuring the potential to become an early musketman.

It doesn’t otherwise come up, so we also note here that Vyatka has reached peace with Bactria, without an exchange of cities.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Such is the way of fleeting pleasures.

101: Such is the way of fleeting pleasures.

We learn the name of Umhaill’s new world colony - Murrisk. Mooniyaang is also being battered by the Susquehanna triremes - if Old Sheehays can keep them focused, the city should be his.

And that’s where we leave it for this week. I’ve been Rhoze, I will remain Rhoze, and it’s been an agonising honour to narrate this week’s episode of the Civ Battle Royale!

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